Captain Obvious

Aus der ersten Episode Police Squad (Auf Deutsch: die nackte Pistole)

Det. Frank Drebin: Cigarette?
Sally Decker: Yes, I know.
[…]
Sally: Well, when I first heard the shot, and as I turned, Jim fell.
Capt. Ed Hocken: He’s the teller, Frank.
Frank: Jim Fell’s the teller?
Sally: No, Jim Johnson.
Frank: Who’s Jim Fell?
Ed: He’s the auditor, Frank.
Sally: He had the flu, so Jim [pauses] filled in.
Frank: Phil who?
Ed: Phil Din. He’s the night watchman.
Sally: [crying] If only Phil had been here!
Frank: Wait a minute, let me get this straight: Twice came in and shot the teller and Jim Fell.
Sally: No, he only shot the teller, Jim Johnson. Fell is ill.
Frank: Okay, then after he shot the teller, you shot Twice.
Sally: No, I only shot once.
Ed: Twice is the hold up man.
Sally: Then I guess I did shoot Twice.
Frank: Oh, so now you’re changing your story.
Sally: No, I shot Twice after Jim fell.
Frank: You shot twice and Jim Fell?
Sally: No, Jim fell first and then I shot Twice once.
Frank: Well, who fired twice?
Sally: Once!
Ed: He’s the owner of the tire company, Frank.
Frank: [pauses] Okay. Once is the owner of the tire company and he fired Twice. Then Twice shot the teller once.
Sally: Twice.
Frank: …and Jim fell and then you fired Twice.
Sally: Once!
Frank: Okay. All right, that will be all for now, Ms. Decker.
Ed: We’ll need you to make a formal statement down at the station.
Sally: Oh, of course!
Frank: You’ve been very helpful. We think we know how he did it.
Sally: Oh, Howie couldn’t have done it. He hasn’t been in for weeks.
Frank: Well. [pauses] Thank you again, Ms. Decker. [to Ed] Weeks?
Ed: Saul Weeks. He’s the comptroller, Frank.